I’m not sure if this makes me traditional or progressive, but something is our marriage that I have found to be super important is this.
I don’t tell my husband “no”.
And I’m not even referring to sex – although there is that also. But just in Life.
At the moment my handsome husband is almost done with a week long fishing expedition in Alaska – hello DREAM. What I wouldn't give to be there also, but alas I am home with two babies and a few reno jobs, and yea. It would be easier on me in the moment if he hadn’t gone and had stayed home to help me out.
Before we got married I time and time again saw my friends find these incredible, fun, full of life guys, they got married and before too long their wild men were very domesticated. And then after more time my friends started to wonder “where did the guy I fell in love with go”. I saw so many guy friends – adventurers, dreamers, athletes and the like, fall in love with these incredible women, but a few years after they were married they were almost unrecognizable to who they were.
Please hear my heart in this. There’s nothing “wrong” with that sort of marriage at all! A lot of those guys needed a strong women and small dogs in their lives to help keep them from accidentally killing themselves. But it’s not what I wanted. I want Trae to stay Trae.
Here’s the deal, I LOVE my husbands adventurous side. Its what attracted me to him in the first place. Seriously I first fell for him when I saw his scar from where his collarbone shattered from when he was hit by a semi truck while riding his motorcycle in Africa. I mean HELLO SEXY ADVENTUROUS MAN! YES I WILL LOVE YOU.
After marriage and especially after kids, it’s been hard to mold into our new roles as parents and think of each other and our kids first, but I don’t want to be the one who keeps Trae back from being, well, himself. If he asked my opinion that’s one thing, and we’ll discuss pros and cons and come to an agreement together.
But if he really wants to do something, and he is asking my permission, I appreciate it but I never say no. He is a grown man, and I know he knows how to make decisions – I mean he married me for crying out loud. I think that proves he has super good judgment. #butreally.
In the moment I usually want to say no. But long term I know that I want him to know I support him, and love him, and trust his decisions. As a result I’ve been super thankful that Trae has never abused this in our relationship, and even though I say yes, He will then decide alllllll on his own to forgo whatever fun thing to help me and the kids. He has also been unwaveringly supportive of me and all my business ventures and crazy ideas. I don’t feel held back because of him, I feel unstoppable, and I pray he feels the same.
I’m saying all this right now because after a week with just me and the kiddo’s I’m tired. Exhausted really, and those pictures of Alaskan mountains look super good right about now. But I wouldn’t change my “yes” for a second. And I know eventually I’ll be able to go on my own adventures and adventure together, and he’ll support me too.
(This post not checked for typos because kiddos are crying and I gotta run!)